Perfectionism Is A 4-Letter Word…

I am, without a doubt, a perfectionist.  I get it from my Dad, who is the Godfather of Perfectionists.  This trait of mine falls into the category of strength and weakness.  On the good side, I usually do a good job at whatever I do.  It might take me forever, but I’ll do a good job.  On the flip side, even if it’s a good job, I’m never happy with it.  It’s not good enough.  On the bad side, it’s very stifling to my creativity.  There are so many projects I want to do that I probably won’t ever start.  I’m afraid I won’t do it right.  I’m constantly afraid that after the project is done I’ll figure out how I could have done it better.  After it’s too late, I’ll come up with a better fabric combination, better technique, better idea.  So I wait until I think I’ve thought of all possible possibilities to help prevent that from happening, which of course never happens.  I could never think of all possibilities.  So I just never start the project.  I know there’s a bit of ‘fear of failure’ mixed in there, a smidge of psychosis too, I’m sure.  I blame my Dad.

Anyway, I want to work on that this year.  Who cares if it’s not perfect, right?  (I had a hard time typing those words out.  My chest tightened up a bit, because I CARE!)  But I want to care a little less this year, maybe take the edge off my anal retentiveness.  (Can you say anal in a quilting blog?)  I want to still do a good job, of course, but I don’t want it to prevent me from getting things done.  Or at least started.  I have so many fabrics that I just love that will  never see the light of day because I’m afraid I won’t use them in the right pattern.  As soon as I cut them all up, the perfect pattern will come along, and the world will proceed to spin off it’s axis.  Or some other horrible fate.  So instead of having them in the potentially wrong quilt, I have them in a bin where I can’t even see them.  That doesn’t seem right.

So this last quilt I made was a bit of a practice in this.  Granted, I did post about layouts to try to gauge what layout I liked best.  BUT, I didn’t angst to the ‘inth degree about the fabric choices, or the pattern.  I just went with it.  I’ve had that fabric I loved, I had the pattern I liked, so I put the 2 together and that was that.  No, I don’t love the result.  But it’s not all quilted and wrinkly yet, that always helps.  And you know what?  So what if it’s not my favorite quilt.  Every quilt I have can’t be my favorite.  I need some quilts that I won’t mind if Avery drags through the mud someday.  Or one to drag to my husband’s ballgames.  This one would be great for that, as it won’t show grass stains.  Or any stains for that matter.

A great blogger recently wrote, “It’s just fabric, right?”  (Gulp).  But it is.  It may not have been the perfect fabric choice, the perfect arrangement of blocks, or the perfect choice of border print, etc.  But you know what?  It will be a finished project, and I will have used what I have, versus buying even more fabric.  And I will be able to look at and enjoy the fabric.

Does it sound like I’m trying to convince myself still?  Maybe a little.  But I’m a work in progress.

(Since every blog needs pictures, I’ve put some of Avery.  She’s the only perfect thing I’ve ever done.)

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