…And It Really Is Exhausting…

I used to scrapbook a lot.  Like a lot, a lot.  And then I got married.  Marriage isn’t what stopped me though, my perfectionism did.  See, I got scrapped (is that the term?) all the way up to the wedding photos/honeymoon, and then I got stuck.  A wedding is sort of a once-in-a-lifetime thing.  One of those major things you’ll remember forever…A huge momentous occasion in the life of a girl!  I just don’t think I could live with myself if I placed the pictures in the wrong place on the scrapbook page!!!  It sounds silly, but I really was so stressed out about having the perfect scrapbook pages about my wedding that I just never did it.  I was afraid I’d do it wrong, or come up with the perfect layout after the fact (see previous post if you haven’t already).  So my scrapbooking ended 5.5 years ago when I got married.

Then I had a baby last December.  OH MY GOSH WHAT IF I SCRAPBOOK HER ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME FIRST YEAR WRONG AND THEN WHEN SHE GROWS UP AND LOOKS AT IT AND SHE HATES IT AND THEN SHE HAS TO GO TO THERAPY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE BECAUSE HER MOTHER MADE HER A HORRIBLE SCRAPBOOK/BABY BOOK AND HER CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ARE RUINED FOREVER!!!!  Again, I know it sounds crazy, but I really build up a lot of anxiety over starting projects like these.  No, I’m not really worried about her having to go to therapy over it, but I am afraid I’m going to put all this time, effort, energy, and money into it, and then not be happy with the finished project.  That every time I look at it I’ll think about how I could have done it better.  I’m afraid it won’t be perfect.

But, I’m working through this, and have actually started making pages.  I will admit I haven’t scrapped her birth yet.  I feel like that’s kind of the ‘biggest deal’ pages.  You know, the start of the whole thing.  Kind of like my wedding day.  But I have jumped in randomly and done a few pages.  I’ve only taken 3,462.7 pictures of her so far, so I don’t have much to work with.

These are 3 of the pages I’ve done.  Are they perfect?  No.  Are they acceptable?  Yes.  If I know on the front end that they’ll never be as perfect as I think they should be, what does it matter, right?  At least now they’re on paper.  Instead of sifting through a box of pictures, these memories are now in a scrapbook that everyone can enjoy.  And people will enjoy it, because we are always our worst critics.  Other people never dissect our work like we do, and if they do, we won’t be able to please them anyway, nor should we try.

So I’m tickled pink that I’ve gotten started.  Getting started is always the hardest part, and I can’t wait to get it all done.  Maybe by the time Avery is old enough to enjoy this book, it’ll actually have pictures of her birth in it…

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